By : Juhi Bansal
P.S. This post was drafted a few weeks ago. Both the pics and my ruminations are a little dated. 🙂 (Pics are from my 9th month bump shoot).
When is the right time to have a baby? Believe me there isn’t a sudden epiphany or you don’t just wake up one morning and know-“now is the time!”.
As much as people say-“you are never ready” for K&I there was a gradual but very evident shift. A few years ago, kids on vacation, kids in movie halls, kids in restaurants-everywhere we saw them-we knew instantly we were so not ready!
Like our parents keep saying-“everything falls into place once the baby comes”, and for most of our friends this seemed to be true, we decided to not treat the baby like a holiday-do it on a whim. After all, its another human being you are talking about…give it a little thought :).
I am in no way preaching to anyone how and when you should decide (God only knows I am the most unsuitable person to give that advice 😉 ) but I do know some very wrong reasons to do so:
1. I am turning 30!
More and more women are having babies in their 30s quite comfortably. If you are reasonably fit and active there is no reason why you have to rush.
Note: Your OB/GYN’s opinion in this trumps mine!
2. We’ve been married for 3 years
I know a lot of people who live like a time bomb. House in a year, baby in 3 etc etc. As long as you and your spouse are ready-could be at 6 months, could be at 6 years (as in the case of yours truly), number of years in marriage does not matter.
3. Too much pressure from relatives
This is one of the worst ones. Relatives go by social norms. They do not understand work pressures, personal finances, other stressful situations and the fact that for most people in today’s nuclear families, help doesn’t come easy. Like in my case-in laws have steady jobs in another city, parents-likewise. So, if it’s the two of us who have to ultimately manage the kid-shouldn’t we have the liberty to plan it?
You basically have 3 options- do as they say, or try to reason with them (all the best with that!) or just smile and nod along and do what you want.
4. All our friends have kids
You need new friends! :). Just kidding (pun not intended!). A baby is not a car or a new dress. It’s a life altering change. So don’t jump the bandwagon just because everyone else is.
A baby does change your life completely (for the better of course) but change is change nevertheless and may take you sometime to adapt to. So think, discuss and then plan. Remember, in the end, it’s just the two of you who need to be on board!
Stay Gorgeous xx
Marvel Christian @ Marvel’s Photography