Random Musings

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS. OR NOT.

 

By Choo-bacca (Guest blogger)

The New Year is right around the corner, and brings with it a list which will be on freshly crumpled paper on January the 2nd. You might consider including these on that about-to-be-crumpled sheet made of dead trees.

  1. Stop dating your computer. Get out, smell some fresh air. Try it once. Really.
  2. Do not eat right before you sleep. You’re not a bear so you’re not setting yourself up for hibernation.

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                     Source: @TheAge_Photo via @ZoosVictoria

  1. Wait for the apocalypse. When that stops seeming practicable, sit in a corner of your shower booth and cry. That’s the best way to lose the Christmas to New Year’s calories.
  2. Learn how to use incognito mode on the internet. For heaven’s sake, why do I need to tell you this?tumblr_ls80ib46Go1qdlkggThis is a GIF: (n.d.). Retrieved December 28, 2015, from http://media.photobucket.com/user/kotharir/media/Crying/tumblr_ls80ib46Go1qdlkgg.gif.html?filters[term]=womancrying&filters[primary]=images&filters[secondary]=videos&sort=1&o=3

 

  1. Outsmart artificial intelligence once in a while. Use words instead of emojis.
  2. Why do you need 372 pictures of yourself in one night? If you’re not one of those people, then get to recreating them selfies like this fun dude:

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Guy Mocks Twin Sister’s Instagram By Recreating Her Baby Photos With A Cat. (2015, December 7). Retrieved December 28, 2015, from http://www.viralthread.com/guy-mocks-twin-sisters-instagram-recreating-baby-photos-cat/

  1. Stop letting people fat shame you. Or don’t. They aren’t worth it. Instead, train your pet to become a ninja and get those fat shamers ambushed.

We live in a day and age where people make it impossible for women, men, anyone to embrace themselves exactly how they are. Stop talking about people’s bodies as if they’re on display asking for your approval/opinion. They are not.” Ariana Grande

  1. Consume alcohol like a person who believes that the liver is an essential organ.
  2. Drunk dialing your exes? Never good. Drunk dialing your parents? Even worse. I mean, funny for us because you’ll be on youtube; yea, not so funny for you.
  3. Spend more time with loved ones. Unless they are a******s or bigots. Then stick to #3 and cry in a corner of your showerbooth. Or you know, just make more friends.
    jennifer-lawrence-disgusted-cringe-gif
    This is a gif: Jennifer Lawerence on Andy Cohen Watch What Happens Live

  4. Make conversation with friends and acquaintances. Do not run away from them in public. They won’t bite, probably. Not everyone is Luis Suarez. Calm your panties down, Liverpool and Barcelona fans.
  5. No, you do not need the latest little black dress that is “completely different” from the 5 little dresses in your closet. Stop relying on trends of the season. Know your body. Experiment and share stuff, but stop freaking buying everything that is trendy for one season. Buy timeless pieces.
  6. Stop making New Year’s resolutions. You know you’re not going to stop eating that chocolate cake from 1st January… and don’t forget to recycle!

                   he-stuffed-his-face-full-of-chocolate-cake-in-matilda-but-what-the-actor-who-played-bruc-611574
                 Faherty, A. (2015, September 11). The kid who played Bruce Bogtrotter in Matilda is now doing something pretty awesome! Retrieved December 28, 2015, from http://moviepilot.com/posts/3538495

 

 

 

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1 Comment

  • Reply Gamit Jonny January 11, 2016 at 9:29 am

    nice

  • Leave a Reply

    fashion and math..you are a genius! *